Curiosity, Not Judgement

What my weight loss journey taught me about dog agility

A few weeks ago, I found myself avoiding two things:

• Tracking my food
• Stepping on the scales

Neither made sense.

I'm a reasonably disciplined person. I walk 15,000-20,000 steps a day. I do Pilates twice a week. I work full-time, run a small business, care for my husband, and train and compete in dog agility.

It's not that I couldn't track.

It's that I didn't want to.

For a while I told myself I was trying to move towards intuitive eating, and there was some truth in that.

But eventually I realised something deeper was happening.

I wasn't resisting tracking.

I was resisting judgement.

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Everything had become a scorecard

As dog agility competitors, we're surrounded by measurement.

How many clear rounds? How many titles? How fast was that run? How many training sessions this week?

Outside agility we have even more:

How productive was I? How much did I weigh? How many calories did I eat?

At some point I realised that I'd started treating information as judgement.

A higher number on the scale meant I had failed.

A lower number meant I had succeeded.

Tracking calories felt less like gathering information and more like sitting an exam.

No wonder I wanted to avoid it.

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Then I gained 2kg

After a stressful few weeks, a few more takeaways, some extra chocolate, and larger portions than usual, I found myself 2kg heavier.

My old response would have been:

"I need more discipline."

But this time I got curious.

What had actually changed?

The answer wasn't complicated.

I'd been eating more takeaways. I'd been eating larger portions. I'd been using food for comfort during a stressful period.

That wasn't failure.

That was information.

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The lesson agility has been teaching me all along

If my dog misses a contact, I don't tell myself I'm terrible.

I ask:

"What happened there?"

If a handling maneuver doesn't work in competition, I don't decide agility isn't for me.

I get curious.

"What can I learn from that?"

Yet somehow, I wasn't extending the same grace to myself.

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My new approach

I'm still tracking.

I'm still weighing myself.

But the purpose has changed.

The scale isn't a judge.

It's a source of information.

Tracking isn't punishment.

It's data.

The question is no longer:

"Was I good this week?"

The question is:

"What does this tell me?"

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The surprising result

Since changing my mindset, I've:

• Started getting to bed before 10pm
• Become more aware of my eating habits
• Felt less resistance towards tracking
• Stopped treating every number as a verdict

Most importantly, I feel calmer.

Because curiosity leaves room for learning.

Judgement only leaves room for shame.

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A question for agility competitors

What if we approached our training the same way?

What if every run, every mistake, every refusal, every missed cue was simply information?

Not proof of our worth.

Not evidence of failure.

Just data.

Just feedback.

Just another step towards becoming a better team.

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My mantra now

Curiosity, not judgement.

Whether it's the scale, a food diary, a training session, or a competition run.

Because learning happens when we're curious.

And progress happens when we keep showing up.